Chapter 174: Actually, I’m a Newer Type of Simp

After school, the three mixed into the army of boarding students returning to their dorms, passing through the North District dormitory cluster.

Stepping out of the North Gate, they were greeted by old, subdivided rental housing, with messy power lines cutting across the sky above.

Further away was the industrial zone, and the sky was a hazy yellow.

Li Hua led the two into a dark alley, introducing the place enthusiastically.

“Someone recommended this to me. It’s a small restaurant, cheap and delicious.”

Jiang Nian was quite interested. He had hardly ever eaten at a small restaurant. When he was poor, he couldn’t afford it and ate at the cafeteria. When he got rich, he still ended up eating at the cafeteria.

“How far?”

“Just ahead, a hundred or two hundred meters.”

“red stone, you said that two minutes ago.” Ma Guojun wiped the sweat from his forehead. “If you falsify military intelligence again, I’ll Aruba you, you dog—you deliberately found a place this far away.”

If Li Hua was treating them to a meal, what they ordered didn’t matter, and what they ate was irrelevant.

Anyway, the priority was getting out. Even if they had to squat by the roadside and chew on a few blades of grass.

What? No money?

Give me your phone.

Where did the 150,000 come from? Don’t ask about worldly affairs.

Although Jiang Nian and Ma Guojun had previously clamored for Red Bull and Gatorade, when it actually came time to order, they only stir-fried two dishes and made do with some low-quality tea.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Li Hua blew on the pale yellow tea, a little touched. “You really don’t need to save money for Daddy. I have a little too much money to spend lately.”

Jiang Nian spoke first. “Forget it, Hua. Save it up for your dowry fragments.”

Ma Guojun laughed and nodded in agreement.

“Exactly, exactly.”

“Damn.” Hearing the term ‘dowry fragments,’ Li Hua immediately lost his composure. “Holy crap, you’re truly an original! Why bring up such a sensitive topic?”

The three usually sponged off each other for food, and drinks were mostly sponged off Jiang Nian. He often bought Niumayin Oral Solution Sprite, so sponging off him didn’t feel guilty.

“I’ll treat you guys. What do you want to drink?” Ma Guojun stood up, ready to grab drinks. “How about something iced? Soy Milk – Nickname or something else?”

“Aren’t I treating?” Li Hua asked.

Watching the two bicker, Jiang Nian suddenly suggested.

“How about… we have some alcohol?”

Instantly, the small square table fell silent, and Li Hua and Ma Guojun exchanged glances.

A minute passed.

“Should we go for it?”

“Let’s do it.”

…Evening reading was about to start. The classroom was brightly lit, filled with the sounds of chatting and joking.

Zhang Ningzhi couldn’t help but look up from her desk toward the two empty seats beside her. She didn’t know what they were up to; class was starting soon, and they weren’t back yet.

Soon after, the three arrived in the classroom right as the bell rang. As they entered, the first row immediately erupted in jeers.

“Holy crap, Fatty, did you play games again? Why is your face so red?”

“Damn it, that strong smell of alcohol! They went drinking this afternoon!”

“Class Monitor, I report! Someone is drinking excessively!”

“Oh no, oh no, what did you do to my Brother Ma?”

“Holy crap, Li Hua, don’t fall on me, damn it.”

“Did Jiang Nian drink?”

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t spread rumors.” Jiang Nian pointed a finger and retorted, “Rumors stop with the wise. I’m allergic to alcohol; I didn’t drink a drop.”

The first few rows of the class were noisy. Li Qingrong merely glanced curiously at Jiang Nian. Seeing that his face wasn’t red and he was walking normally, she quietly looked away.

As long as this sort of thing didn’t happen frequently, or they weren’t caught red-handed by a leader, nobody really cared.

Ma Guojun’s face was too red; he couldn’t refute anything and just silently returned to his seat.

Li Hua wasn’t much better, reeking of alcohol.

Jiang Nian sat in the middle seat, having entered before Li Hua. The moment he sat down, Zhang Ningzhi leaned over slightly and sniffed, only catching a faint whiff of alcohol.

She wasn’t sure if Jiang Nian had drunk anything, feeling indecisive and suspicious.

“Did you drink?”

Jiang Nian didn’t lift his head and replied without hesitation.

“I only drank tea. If you don’t believe me, ask the two of them.”

Hearing this, Zhang Ningzhi was half-convinced and turned to look at Ma Guojun and Li Hua in the same row.

Fatty Baby took out his biology book and pretended to stand for evening reading, his round, chubby hands resting on the desk.

But no matter how hard he tried to act nonchalant, his flushed face betrayed him.

Li Hua, reeking of alcohol, was even more listless. He couldn’t even stand up and simply collapsed onto the desk to sleep.

Jiang Nian patted the corpse-like Li Hua and asked aloud.

“Hua, did I not drink?”

Li Hua was semi-conscious and couldn’t get up, only managing to wave his hand in response.

This sight amused Jiang Nian, and he turned to Zhang Ningzhi, smiling.

“See? I told you.”

Zhang Ningzhi was still half-convinced, but ultimately, it had nothing to do with her, so she didn’t say anything more.

She couldn’t very well lean in for a closer inspection; that would be too presumptuous.

Unhappy.

Evening reading ended, transitioning seamlessly into evening self-study.

Li Hua sobered up considerably. To avoid being caught red-handed by a teacher, he rushed to the restroom to wash his face and rinse his mouth.

Ma Guojun followed closely behind, while Jiang Nian remained stationary in his seat.

Outside the empty restroom, the lights were dim.

Two faucets ran, *huala-huala*. Li Hua and Ma Guojun simultaneously scooped up handfuls of water, took a gulp, and gargled with their heads tilted back.

“Damn! Jiang Nian is truly despicable!” Li Hua couldn’t help but curse. “How did he manage it? We drank together, but he doesn’t smell of alcohol at all.”

“That son of a b*tch definitely bought gum secretly. I knew why he was dawdling at the convenience store,” Ma Guojun also cursed. “Too bad we can’t expose him.”

“I’m telling you, if you had just drunk one more cup, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to handle it,” Li Hua summarized.

“Give me a break, we lost everything.” Ma Guojun was speechless, washed his face again, and concluded, “Anyway, we can’t drink with Jiang Nian anymore.”

In the classroom, Li Qingrong tapped Jiang Nian’s shoulder and asked directly.

“Did you drink?”

Jiang Nian thought for a moment and answered honestly.

“Just one cup.”

Li Qingrong looked at the single finger he held up and nodded.

“Mhm.”

Liar!

Zhang Ningzhi furiously wrote on her test paper, glancing at Jiang Nian, pouting angrily. When she had asked him earlier, he had clearly said he hadn’t drunk anything.

When the Class Monitor asked him, he told the truth. Liar, long nose.

After Li Hua returned, he looked at the gloating Jiang Nian and felt chills of anger. But the moment he remembered Jiang Nian had paid for the alcohol, he instantly felt relieved.

The rich bastard has money; bending the knee won’t hurt him.

During the first period of evening self-study, Xi Bao strolled in, and the first thing she did was:

“Open the windows, open the windows! It’s not winter yet, why are the windows closed every day?”

Saying this, Xi Bao began her routine patrol around the class. After only a few steps, she stopped in the aisle between Li Hua and Ma Guojun.

“I told you to open the windows for ventilation, but you never listen. Usually, a little sweat smell is fine, but why does it smell fermented like alcohol today?”

Hearing this, the surrounding students burst into thunderous laughter and immediately started tattling.

“Teacher! Those three next to you were drinking!”

“That’s right, Teacher. I personally saw the three of them drinking by the case.”

Hearing this, Xi Bao pulled the three of them up and focused her interrogation on Li Hua.

“How much did you guys drink?”

Li Hua had a flash of inspiration. “Teacher, I only had one cup.”

Xi Bao glanced at him. “Then I’ll go find your Homeroom Teacher.”

“Three bottles, three bottles! Teacher, I was wrong.” Li Hua instantly surrendered. “I’m fine now; I’ve digested it all.”

“Is that so? I still have a few sets of English test papers here.” Xi Bao crossed her arms over her chest.

“Teacher, actually, I’m still a tiny bit dizzy.” Li Hua stammered awkwardly.

Xi Bao ignored him, turning instead to look at the big fatty whose face wasn’t quite as red.

“Ma Guojun, what about you?”

The big fatty trembled, confessing without being asked, holding up two chubby fingers.

“Two bottles.”

“You guys are something else. Three bottles and two bottles. Did you score well on the English exam?”

Xi Bao frowned. She usually didn’t manage things much, but she kept a close eye on Li Hua. During the leaders’ meeting, they specifically mentioned certain top students who were weak in one subject—they might as well have read out Li Hua’s ID number.

Firstly, the nickname “Li Hua Line” was almost universally used in the third year of high school. Secondly, if Li Hua’s English score improved, there was hope for him to score 129.

Suddenly, Xi Bao felt like she had missed something. She turned around and found Jiang Nian had sneakily sat down.

Xi Bao: “…”

Jiang Nian looked up, meeting Xi Bao’s speechless gaze, gave an awkward smile, and stood up.

“Teacher, I figured it was too tiring for you to scold us one by one, so I thought I’d lighten your load.”

Xi Bao chuckled, sizing up Jiang Nian. Seeing that his complexion was normal, as if he hadn’t drunk anything, she interrogated him as usual.

“How much did you drink?”

Jiang Nian was silent for two seconds, held up two fingers, and said coyly.

“Teacher, I have low alcohol tolerance. Out of curiosity, I mixed it with water and tasted two small cups.”

Hearing this, Li Hua and Ma Guojun both turned their heads, staring at Jiang Nian with astonished eyes, as if saying, *You are utterly shameless.*

Finally, Xi Bao took Li Hua away for a private talk, and Jiang Nian and the big fatty exchanged smiles.

May the Fellow Daoist die, but not this poor Daoist! I’m alive again!

After Xi Bao left, the classroom gradually quieted down. Jiang Nian wrote problems while spinning his pen. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Zhang Ningzhi’s faint, resentful gaze.

Jiang Nian: “?”

One period of evening self-study passed. After class, Jiang Nian prepared to go relieve himself; his bladder couldn’t hold out after drinking so much.

Just as he stood up, his eyes met Li Qingrong’s cold gaze. For the first time, Jiang Nian perceived a hint of displeasure in it.

“?”

Everyone is… acting strange.

Forget it, time to pee, yay!

In the not-so-bright corridor, Sun Zhizheng and Lin Dong leaned against the railing, chatting.

Just then, he saw Zhou Yuting coming from the stairwell. A strong premonition suddenly arose in Sun Zhizheng’s mind: perhaps he was about to have an encounter with Zhou Yuting.

His gaze followed Zhou Yuting; he even forgot to reply to Lin Dong, having entered a state of self-absorption.

They only heard a *pa* sound. Zhou Yuting, who had walked up next to Sun Zhizheng, suddenly dropped a set of keys.

Sun Zhizheng froze, followed immediately by unexpected ecstasy.

Sixth sense! It came true!

He trembled all over, didn’t even hear Lin Dong call him A’Cheng, and his mind went blank. He instinctively bent down to pick up the keys.

However… a hand appeared in his line of sight, moving faster than him.

In that instant, Sun Zhizheng’s brain went blank again. He turned in shock and saw Jiang Nian’s perfect profile, immediately feeling utterly demoralized.

Why is it him again! Can’t he just drop dead!

However unhappy he was, he could only accept reality. The loser eats dust.

Sun Zhizheng was a decent person and couldn’t bring himself to snatch the keys. He could only force a smile, slowly withdraw his hand, and stand up again.

When Zhou Yuting saw Jiang Nian helping her pick up the keys, she felt a little dazed.

He used to take care of her like this, down to the smallest detail. Could it be that Jiang Nian—

Jiang Nian reached out for the keys on the ground, but just as his fingers were about to touch them, he abruptly changed direction.

In a sudden twist, he squatted down and started tying his shoelaces.

Three seconds later, he stood up and walked away as if nothing had happened.

In the corridor, Zhou Yuting and Sun Zhizheng were left bewildered in the night breeze.

What the hell is wrong with him!

Lin Dong was also stunned, then burst into laughter, turning and running toward Jiang Nian. He caught up to Jiang Nian from behind and lightly patted his shoulder.

“Brother Nian, do you have a grudge against Zhou Yuting?”

“No,” Jiang Nian replied, turning back with a puzzled look. “Why do you ask?”

“I just saw everything. You didn’t even pick up the keys.” Lin Dong gave him a look that said, *I know what you’re up to.* “If you tell me you don’t have some beef with her, I won’t believe it.”

Jiang Nian thought for a moment and said seriously.

“Actually, I’m a newer type of introverted simp. I was just too nervous, so I didn’t pick up the keys, and feeling awkward, I left first.”

“Dong, don’t say things that damage student unity in the future.”