Chapter 17: This is not lying, it is the art of language

“Hey, my dear friend, Little Vile, a week has passed. Isn’t it time to ask our Dean of Discipline to return our sacred artifact?” After finishing sword training, Vol crept up to Little Vile and muttered, “That creepy-looking guy, Grinsen, doesn’t seem like a good person. I’m really worried about our sacred artifact being with him.”

Hearing Vol refer to it as a “sacred artifact” repeatedly gave Little Vile a headache. If it wasn’t to hand him that ‘Playboy 50th Anniversary Collector’s Edition,’ why would he have thought of bringing an adult magazine, which he knew shouldn’t be brought to school, to school? It was ridiculous that he had even put the magazine in his backpack beforehand to make it seem more natural. If he had kept it in his Apostle Space, it definitely wouldn’t have been discovered.

“Sir Vol, please tell me a way to retrieve that magazine without my father and mother knowing. Teacher Grinsen explicitly said he would only return the book if I brought a parent,” Little Vile said, feeling helpless. He had already promised Vol to lend him the magazine, and in return, Vol would diligently train him in swordsmanship. Vol had indeed been very dedicated, not only being stricter than others but also increasing the training load significantly. Not a single other student envied him; instead, they were all gloating. Laziness is human nature, and Fetterman was the most typical example.

“Hehe, buddy, I’ve already thought about this problem. Ta-da! See this mask?” Sir Vol pulled out a mask from somewhere—a clown mask, but it gave Little Vile a chilling, uncomfortable feeling.

“Ding! A low-level demonic item has been detected. It has a certain radiation effect on Apostles. Prolonged staring will affect the Apostle, causing mental instability. It is recommended to avert your gaze. The demonic item is low-level and has collection value. Do you wish to enable the Eye of Appraisal to appraise it?” The proxy elf’s voice appeared at the right moment. Little Vile didn’t even think twice before mentally confirming it.

“Ding! Eye of Appraisal activated. Appraisal beginning. Please, Apostle, do not avert your gaze. Appraisal complete. Shapeshifting Mask, a low-level demonic item, crafted from the essence skin of one hundred chameleons, the facial skin of ten clown actors, and the saliva of a Ditto. It can transform the user into the appearance of another person for a short period. The smaller the difference in body size, the longer the effect lasts. It can be used three times a day, each time not exceeding one hour, and will greatly deplete the user’s physical and mental energy. Sacrificing this item will yield three hundred contribution points.”

“Is there anything special about this clown mask?” Little Vile closed the Eye of Appraisal, a look of suspicion on his face. Vol chuckled, putting an arm around Little Vile’s shoulder and whispering, “This is an extraordinary item confiscated by the temple, just like those artifacts with magical functions you read about in knight novels. Wearing it, I can transform into anyone I want to impersonate. Although the duration isn’t long, it’s enough to fool Grinsen.”

“No, Sir Vol, as a knight, honesty is a code of conduct we must uphold!” Little Vile immediately refused with righteous indignation.

“Hey, hey, hey, my dear Little Vile, as a knight, courtesy, honesty, compassion, valor, justice, sacrifice, honor, and spirituality are the virtues we must uphold. But right now, I am neither performing a mission as a knight nor teaching you swordsmanship. As a knight, I am off duty. Right now, I am just an ordinary person, a normal man who likes Playboy. You understand.” Vol said, giving Little Vile a knowing look. Little Vile wanted to say he didn’t want to understand, but he couldn’t. Ultimately, he owed Vol, and debts must be repaid.

“Alright, alright, I understand.” Little Vile nodded, saying helplessly, “Later, I will voluntarily admit my mistake to Teacher Grinsen and beg him to return the magazine to me. If he refuses, will you appear then?” Little Vile realized he was caught in a strange loop; it seemed the more he feared an accident, the more likely one was to happen.

One lie requires many lies to cover it up. What exactly had he done? What if he had just handed over the silver box back then?

“Ding! The Apostle’s previous choice was not wrong. If the Apostle had handed over the silver box at that time, to ensure the secret would not be leaked, the Apostle’s entire family would have faced the desperate situation of being silenced by the Church of the Goddess of Dawn.” The proxy elf’s voice appeared, shattering Little Vile’s illusion. It was just as he had suspected; God was benevolent, but God’s servants were vicious.

The Dean of Discipline was actually just an administrative title within the school, not a true teacher. The word “teacher” was added out of respect. The Dean of Discipline had his own private office, but generally, no one liked to go there unless they were a student being punished. Grinsen, this Dean of Discipline who had been relegated here, seemed to have given up hope of returning to the city hall, adopting an attitude of just getting by and an impulse to cause trouble. Therefore, he always liked to call “bad students” (disobedient students) to his office for “moral education,” and then call in their parents to deliberately disparage the students’ performance. Seeing the parents’ faces turn red with anger and the students’ mortified expressions, he would feel an inexplicable sense of pleasure.

However, Grinsen disliked excellent students coming to him because he couldn’t find a sense of superiority from them. Yes, Dean of Discipline Grinsen only had a secondary education, and his academic performance wasn’t particularly outstanding. The position he held in the city hall was left to him by his father. However, after his father’s death, his poor performance proved him unfit, so he was reassigned to Mildis Junior College to become the Dean of Discipline, a position that didn’t require much ability. It was considered a stable job with a decent salary and a bit of petty power, allowing him to gain small benefits. As long as he wasn’t too excessive, no one usually pursued it, as his name was still listed at the city hall, just “temporarily” unable to return.

A knock sounded, and Dean of Discipline Grinsen casually called out, “Come in.” The office door opened, and Little Vile walked in.

“Oh, look who it is! Our top student at Mildis Junior College, the future first all-A graduate, Mr. Vile Declan. Come on over. Let me guess the purpose of your visit. Hmm, I’ve guessed it. But before I tell you the answer, may I ask if you’ve brought your father or your mother?” Grinsen patted a stack of books on his desk and pulled out a gaudy magazine from within—a brand new ‘Playboy 50th Anniversary Collector’s Edition.’

“I’m very sorry, Teacher Grinsen, I didn’t tell my mother about this matter.” Little Vile cleverly evaded the question, answering Grinsen’s question very skillfully. “In fact, if possible, I wouldn’t want my father to meet Teacher Grinsen because of this either. Although I had thought of an excuse early on, facing Teacher Grinsen, I have to admit that no matter the reason, bringing this magazine to school ultimately violated school rules. Therefore, I sincerely apologize and promise not to do it again.”

“Oh, what if I still want your family to come?” Dean of Discipline Grinsen didn’t immediately relent.

Little Vile paused, then lowered his head and softly said, “If Teacher Grinsen insists, I can only ask the adult waiting outside to speak with the teacher, although I’ve always believed I’m old enough to be responsible for my own actions.”

“You’ve truly grown up, Student Vile. Alright, alright, for an excellent student like you, an adult magazine is indeed nothing. Perhaps your rude father would even praise you. Take it, Student Vile. Although it might sound bad to say this, I have to admit that for outstanding students, the school is quite lenient. You can bring magazines to school in the future, but remember, absolutely, absolutely do not let other students know. Can you do that?” Grinsen was unexpectedly agreeable. Vile breathed a long sigh of relief, nodded with a sense of release, and promised not to bring such magazines to school again before leaving the office with the ‘Playboy 50th Anniversary Collector’s Edition.’ Grinsen watched Little Vile’s retreating back, his expression solemn.

Outside Mildis Junior College, Sir Vol eagerly opened the ‘Playboy 50th Anniversary Collector’s Edition’ magazine, his face filled with a strange smile and emitting peculiar chuckles. Little Vile’s face was full of helplessness. “Sir Vol, you can read this magazine later, or keep it for a while. When you no longer need it, you can return it to me, but please, absolutely do not bring this magazine to school. I don’t want to be warned by Teacher Grinsen a second time for the same thing.”

“Understood, understood. I will personally come to thank you. Hehehehe! I never thought our honest and brave Little Vile would also lie.”

“No, this isn’t lying; it’s the art of language. I truly didn’t tell my mother about this, and I only said I’d ask the adult waiting outside to speak with the teacher; I never said that adult was my father.” Little Vile knew he had been misleading Dean Grinsen, using his weakness of disliking facing his father to successfully retrieve the magazine. But he wasn’t happy; the knowledge he had acquired shouldn’t be used in such a way.